The Duck

Got some humour to share? The stage is lit and the microphone's live.

Moderators: Gromit, Paul, slparry

User avatar
ianbcr
Member
Posts: 1472
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: Walsall

The Duck

Postby ianbcr » Mon Sep 07, 2015 6:30 pm

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says,
"Hang on! You're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you can talk!"
Exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working, too" Says the duck.
"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly, sorry about that,"
Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.
"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub... What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.
The same thing happens for two weeks.
Then one day the circus comes to town.
The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him
"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
"Sounds marvelous,"
says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.
"Get him to give me a call."
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,
"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
"I'm always looking for the next job,"
Says the duck.
"Where is it?"
"At the circus,"
Says the barman.
"The circus?"
Repeats the duck.
"That's right,"
Replies the barman.
"The circus?"
The duck asks again.
with the big tent?"
"Yeah," the barman replies.
"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.
"Of course," the barman replies.
"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.
There is a long, pregnant silence, during which the duck just stares at the shelves behind the barman.
"What's the matter?" says the barman.
The duck says "Just trying to work out what the **** they would want with a plasterer!!..
Your born with a certain amout of heart beats, Dont waste them on exersise. [smilie=rooster.gif]


04 boxer cup rep. Gone but not forgoten
99 tlr1000 (V twin) tricked.
Indian Roadmaster Elite
Mercedes EQC 400

andy griff
Member
Posts: 648
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 8:20 pm
Location: England
Contact:

Postby andy griff » Mon Sep 07, 2015 7:10 pm

very good... :D

User avatar
Boxermed69
Member
Posts: 1282
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 11:28 am
Location: Costa del Weymouth

Postby Boxermed69 » Mon Sep 07, 2015 8:05 pm

:lol:
Horizontally opposed, vertically challenged...
Image

BlackBox12
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 8:00 pm
Location: Belgium

Postby BlackBox12 » Tue Sep 08, 2015 6:14 am

LOL...
good one indeed!
You win some, you lose some, you wreck some.


Return to “Humour”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 63 guests