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Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Posted: Fri May 11, 2018 10:14 am
by The Teutonic Tangerine
Just because its Friday - I Make no apology - read at your own risk (risk of groaning)

What does cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi.

What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with? Camembert.

What cheese can you disguise a small horse with? Mascapone.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

How do you handle dangerous cheese? Caerphilly.

What’s a Pirates favourite cheese? Chedd-AAR.

There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France… all that was left was de brie

What music does cheese listen to? R & Brie.

How did the cheese paint his wife? He double Gloucester.

Why did the cheese lose a fight with a stone? Because the Roquefort back.

When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds.

Why does cheese look sane? Because everything else on the plate is crackers.

Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese? Because she was getting Feta and Feta.

My business making clothes out of cheese has gone bust…..turns out that fromage frays.
What did the queen say when a man threw cheese at her?…….”How Dairy”

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Posted: Fri May 11, 2018 12:16 pm
by BoxerCup R
I saw a slice of toast on the floor at a Zoo today, it was bread in captivity :wink:

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Posted: Fri May 11, 2018 6:07 pm
by Humbug
Tried to buy a wasp in my local pet shop today.
Said they didn't sell them.
Strange... they had one in the window!

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Posted: Sat May 12, 2018 6:18 pm
by dave the german
wanna buy a hoover? got one just gathering dust

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Posted: Sat May 12, 2018 6:19 pm
by dave the german
What do you call a pasty with a machine gun? a gingster (for the SW posse)

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 12:55 pm
by The Teutonic Tangerine
dave the german wrote:What do you call a pasty with a machine gun? a gingster (for the SW posse)


But is it a Cornish Pasty or an Ivor Dewdney Pasty from across the Bridge.

http://ivordewdney.co.uk/

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 2:17 pm
by popsky
The Teutonic Tangerine wrote:
dave the german wrote:What do you call a pasty with a machine gun? a gingster (for the SW posse)


But is it a Cornish Pasty or an Ivor Dewdney Pasty from across the Bridge.

http://ivordewdney.co.uk/


Quite right, took the words out of my mouth lol

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 4:08 pm
by dave the german
popsky wrote:
The Teutonic Tangerine wrote:
dave the german wrote:What do you call a pasty with a machine gun? a gingster (for the SW posse)


But is it a Cornish Pasty or an Ivor Dewdney Pasty from across the Bridge.

http://ivordewdney.co.uk/


Quite right, took the words out of my mouth lol


One of those :wink: