Retirees

Got some humour to share? The stage is lit and the microphone's live.

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Australia
Mitch1100
Member
Posts: 810
Joined: Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:00 am
Location: Tasmania

Retirees

Postby Mitch1100 » Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:29 pm

Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
2009 HP2 Sport
2006 R1200s with yellow rim tape
2008 Ducati Monster S4RS Tricolore..sold
2004 R1100s BoxerCup Replika..sold
2006 Subaru WRX STI S204 #318/600

User avatar Ireland
nab 301
Member
Posts: 2192
Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 6:41 pm
Location: Dublin Ireland

Re: Retirees

Postby nab 301 » Wed Sep 12, 2018 3:06 pm

:D
_________________
Nigel

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you've been up to!
1999 R1100s (mandarin) '
'05 CBF250
'04 Breva 750
'06 Bonneville 790cc
MZ301 Saxon Fun ( currently retired)
'03 Bullet 65 project..


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