Cheesey jokes for a Friday

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The Teutonic Tangerine
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Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Postby The Teutonic Tangerine » Fri May 11, 2018 10:14 am

Just because its Friday - I Make no apology - read at your own risk (risk of groaning)

What does cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi.

What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with? Camembert.

What cheese can you disguise a small horse with? Mascapone.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

How do you handle dangerous cheese? Caerphilly.

What’s a Pirates favourite cheese? Chedd-AAR.

There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France… all that was left was de brie

What music does cheese listen to? R & Brie.

How did the cheese paint his wife? He double Gloucester.

Why did the cheese lose a fight with a stone? Because the Roquefort back.

When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds.

Why does cheese look sane? Because everything else on the plate is crackers.

Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese? Because she was getting Feta and Feta.

My business making clothes out of cheese has gone bust…..turns out that fromage frays.
What did the queen say when a man threw cheese at her?…….”How Dairy”
There would appear to be a surfeit of prolixity and sesquipedalian content today please do not use a big word when a singularly un-loquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity

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BoxerCup R
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Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Postby BoxerCup R » Fri May 11, 2018 12:16 pm

I saw a slice of toast on the floor at a Zoo today, it was bread in captivity :wink:
It's a fookin missile :twisted:

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Humbug
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Location: Nottinghamshire

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Postby Humbug » Fri May 11, 2018 6:07 pm

Tried to buy a wasp in my local pet shop today.
Said they didn't sell them.
Strange... they had one in the window!

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dave the german
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Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Postby dave the german » Sat May 12, 2018 6:18 pm

wanna buy a hoover? got one just gathering dust
'15 R1200GS TE
'06 R1200S
'04 BCR
Yam SR 500 long term restoration
wanna win the lottery and ride my bike

Great Britain
dave the german
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Posts: 2930
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:35 am
Location: North East

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Postby dave the german » Sat May 12, 2018 6:19 pm

What do you call a pasty with a machine gun? a gingster (for the SW posse)
'15 R1200GS TE

'06 R1200S

'04 BCR

Yam SR 500 long term restoration

wanna win the lottery and ride my bike

User avatar Great Britain
The Teutonic Tangerine
Posts: 1551
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 3:18 pm
Location: Essex
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Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Postby The Teutonic Tangerine » Mon May 14, 2018 12:55 pm

dave the german wrote:What do you call a pasty with a machine gun? a gingster (for the SW posse)


But is it a Cornish Pasty or an Ivor Dewdney Pasty from across the Bridge.

http://ivordewdney.co.uk/
There would appear to be a surfeit of prolixity and sesquipedalian content today please do not use a big word when a singularly un-loquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity

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popsky
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Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Postby popsky » Mon May 14, 2018 2:17 pm

The Teutonic Tangerine wrote:
dave the german wrote:What do you call a pasty with a machine gun? a gingster (for the SW posse)


But is it a Cornish Pasty or an Ivor Dewdney Pasty from across the Bridge.

http://ivordewdney.co.uk/


Quite right, took the words out of my mouth lol
Phil.

R1200S and loving it !

Oberautobahnjäger…………

Great Britain
dave the german
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Posts: 2930
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:35 am
Location: North East

Re: Cheesey jokes for a Friday

Postby dave the german » Mon May 14, 2018 4:08 pm

popsky wrote:
The Teutonic Tangerine wrote:
dave the german wrote:What do you call a pasty with a machine gun? a gingster (for the SW posse)


But is it a Cornish Pasty or an Ivor Dewdney Pasty from across the Bridge.

http://ivordewdney.co.uk/


Quite right, took the words out of my mouth lol


One of those :wink:
'15 R1200GS TE

'06 R1200S

'04 BCR

Yam SR 500 long term restoration

wanna win the lottery and ride my bike


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